My Crossdressing Habits & Patterns

For me, and others I’ve spoken to as well, Crossdressing is sort of like a drug, and sort of like the ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend you still like that lives around the corner – that you still have a one night stand with once in a while.  After the relapse/one night stand, you stop with the fantasies and reality kicks in.  Dating this person all the time is way too much work considering the satisfaction that comes from it.  Every time I Crossdress, I have a similar realization.  I realize that shaving my body every day and spending hours on makeup and getting dressed doesn’t really pay off the way I would like it to.  It seems like fun when you haven’t done it in a while, because all you remember is the good stuff, like feeling sexy and relaxed.  We forget that we are often frustrated, depressed, or lonely when we are dressed up.  Still sounding like that relationship with you ex?  It is like that.  The drug metaphor holds too.  Some people are the type to get addicted to Crossdressing and later convert to full time crossdressers or become transgender individuals.  For me, I realized my life wouldn’t allow that, and it isn’t something I really want at this point anyway.  Also, while I do sometimes feel like fully transitioning to a woman, after a two or three day stint of Crossdressing, that feeling passes.  I am not saying that Crossdressing isn’t something that I love all the time, it just isn’t something I DO all the time.  And when I do it, it’s usually only for a couple days at a time and then I stop; usually for a time period between 4 and 6 months (I am convinced this is me trying to be ‘normal’ and I am going to consciously make an effort to dress more often than that, just on principle – the only reason I don’t dress more often is our culture and their reaction to it, and the only reason I fight with myself about it is the same). After that 4-6 month period, I begin to feel serious withdrawal and start to crave dressing.  I try and not do it by having female experiences other ways like going to a strip club, and that works to calm the urges temporarily.  Eventually the obsession completely takes over and dressing is all I can think about.  I have to do it, if for no other reason, to clear my mind and allow me to get something else done (my work suffers from these distractions when they get bad).  When I finally decide to give in and dress, my whole life gets put on hold for several days.  I dress and worry about nothing except that.  Maybe during day two I will work from home and get some things done while I’m dressed.  After two or three days, my desperate urges satisfied for the time being, I go back to my male self and put away the clothes.  Each time I finish dressing, the temporarily satisfied boy inside of tells me I could throw out all the clothes and wigs and makeup I’ve purchased.  I feel better.  I don’t need this stuff anymore.  What if someone finds it?  I’m not a drag queen, I am just a little curious.  When I first tried dressing I would throw everything out each time I dressed.  After doing that enough and wasting hundreds and hundreds of dollars, I know better now.  My wife knows that I dress now, and although she doesn’t like sexual activities while I’m dressed, she does hang out with me, help me pick out clothes, and allow me to keep whatever I want in the house. The story of how I told my wife will have to be for another post.  Let me say two things that may qualify as ‘good advice’ for the right person:  first, don’t be ashamed, there is nothing wrong with you, and there are millions more good people with the same desires you have.  Second, if you have purchased cross clothing, don’t throw it out!  If you like Crossdressing now, you will like it again, even if it seems like your curiosity was ‘satisfied’ its likely only temporary.  Hold on to your investment! 

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About tiffanycd

I am a heterosexual married male crossdresser. My wife knows my secret, but she's the only one. Except you of course! Welcome to my diary and photo album!

One response to “My Crossdressing Habits & Patterns

  1. Pingback: fairyprincessnot

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